


Am I a bother?

by DWStephan



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5376785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWStephan/pseuds/DWStephan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I -tried- to follow the anime, but since it’s been a while I’m not sure if it is completely right, I apologize for any mistake I did. <br/> I wrote it for my friend panna, she already read this, but still be telling her anyway.</p>
<p> My first work here on AO3, but I wrote it months ago, I hope y'all like it!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Am I a bother?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [panna_acida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/panna_acida/gifts).



> I -tried- to follow the anime, but since it’s been a while I’m not sure if it is completely right, I apologize for any mistake I did.   
>  I wrote it for my friend panna, she already read this, but still be telling her anyway.
> 
> My first work here on AO3, but I wrote it months ago, I hope y'all like it!

  – Am I a bother…? – Rei murmured while looking at the sky, thinking about the only person who managed to make him daydream like this.

  Today was a normal day in the Iwatobi Swim Club, Makoto trying to teach Rei how to do the backstroke, but he kept sinking to the bottom of the pool. Nagisa, as always, laughed at the poor boy, while Haru wasn't paying attention to what was happening around him and just looked at the water, wishing he could enter already.

  Rei was getting sick of all this, he had spend one week reading all the swimming books he could find, but he couldn't do what he learned, he was frustated and Makoto noticed it, smiling while helping Rei and saying he could do it.   
  
  It was crushing how much Rei had fallen in love with Makoto.

  Months passed by, and even though he had tried his best, Rei could only watch from his seat how his team, together with Rin, win the relay.

  A sad smile formed onto his lips, yes, it made Rei happy seeing them like this, finally getting along after so many years fighting. He was happy Makoto was smiling so bright, but why couldn’t he smile like this with him? What else could he do to reach their level? Why couldn’t he just race with them? 

  - It's not fair... - Rei murmured, without stop looking his friends' commemoration.

  Besides of how hurt he was for be left out of the relay, he went talk with them, truly happy that they own - even if they got desqualified because Rin was from other school. Nagisa and Makoto apologized for had left him out of the relay, what made Rei's heart beat fast, maybe, they didn't think he was a annoyance.

* * *

 

  Rei kept training the best he could, and months after, he finally managed to swim to the point he could win a competition, but Rei was still tormented by the fact he wasn't in the same level that his team mates.

  "Am I a bother?"

  This thought flashed in his head everytime he saw his friends getting better and better. It seemed like no one had noticed his inner turmoil.

  But Makoto, he could feel something was wrong with him. Rei had become more distant since the relay they did with Rin. It made Makoto happy but guilty at the same time, he knew he did his best to swim with them, only to be disappointed after so much time and effort he had put into his training. 

  When Nagisa came one day and said that Rei started to talk to his old captain again, Makoto felt an intense pain on his heart, was Rei planning to leave them and go back to his old club? Or even worse, had Rei found out about Makoto’s feelings and was disgusted by them? He got nauseous just by thinking about it, so he tried his best to show nothing at all and calm Nagisa down.

  - Rei wouldn't leave us after so much effort for try to learn how to swim. - Makoto said petting Nagisa's head.

  It was the last year for Makoto and Haruka in Iwatobi and it was unbearable, Makoto couldn't stop thinking how he and Rei would go apart without he tell anything to him, he wanted to say something, and Rei was the same, both trying to process and search the best moment to say how they felt, but it was too much for them to handle, having to keep up an act, talking like they didn’t feel anything for each other, while their insides kept twisting into aching knots and it didn’t seem to stop.

  And it got worse with every day passing by, Makoto jealous of Nagisa, Rei jealous of Haruka, both trying their best to keep quiet about it and suppress the feelings that kept growing inside them and poisoning their minds.

  Eventually, their last relay came and this time, Rei could race with them. He was nervous. He didn’t want to disappoint his friends, he didn’t want to fail, not after all these hours they had spent together just to help him improve, without say the time he asked Rin for help, and the other helped him without a problem.

  But after looking at how graceful Makoto was, how his big structure made his way through the water, like he was nothing more than a feather… it was calming, reassuring, Rei was sure he could do it, after all, he wasn't alone, all his friends were there with him, and he couldn't ask something better.

  Makoto could feel the adrenaline flowing through his body, he kept swimming, when he finally reached the wall, he heard how Nagisa’s body enter the water. All of them screaming and motivating Nagisa, Rei finally got on his position, feeling his body shiver from the fear of do something wrong.

  Nagisa touched the wall, and he jumped.

  It was weird. Different, yet pleasing.

  For the first time he felt like he was flying, it was a tingling sensation every time he moved, it was like he was in the ocean, surrounded by nothing but water, and free to move like he wanted to, and he swam as fast as he could, but as he reached the wall, he looked at Haru and envy ran through his body while he got out of the water.

  The three of them were looking at Haruka, waiting for the boy to reach the wall as well. 

  When he touched the wall, their screams echoed throughout the stadium, all of them jumping over Haruka, hugging him while crying from happiness, mixed with the sad feeling that it was the last relay they could do together.

* * *

 

  The year ended.

  Rei could only watch Makoto from afar during the ceremony of graduation. Nagisa was crying, but Rei didn’t feel like he was going to cry, seeing the person he loved leaving him without even knowing about those feelings, it was so intense that he couldn't cry at all.

  It was more than enough to make him cry, but he couldn’t do it, not when Makoto was looking back at him, without his gentle smile, he looked sad, he had the same smile Rei had on his face every time he looked at Makoto when he was with Haruka, or when he watched his friends becoming better than him, never letting him reach them.

  As the ceremony ended, Nagisa hugged both Makoto and Haruka, crying and saying how much he would miss them, since they were going to study in Tokyo. Haruka was going to become a professional swimmer, while Makoto choose to enter to college.

  When Nagisa finally let Makoto go, he grabbed Rei's arms, what made him get even more nervous than before.

  - M-Makoto-senpai? - Rei tried to not shake, but the other was too close for manage to calm himself down.

  - I really need to talk to you. - Makoto said, smiling at Rei.

  Makoto was blushing slightly, but the determination that radiated from his eyes was intense than ever.

  Rei nodded and both of them went to the pool where they had always trained together, leaving behind Haruka and Nagisa.

  "It will not be the same without Makoto here…" Rei thought while looking at their reflection on the water, getting even more nervous when he noticed Makoto getting closer to him, letting their shoulders touch each other.

  Rei's heart couldn't beat more faster, his face was red and tried to hide it pretending to adjust his glasses.

  - You know Rei, I watched you getting better and better within those two years and I’m really happy. - Rei finally looked to Makoto, who was smiling at him. - Helping you learn how to swim, see you trying to get better on your own. 

  A weird silence fall over them, and Rei couldn't take it any longer.

  - Rei... - Makoto said in a low voice, looking at Rei's eyes. - I like you.

  Another silence, and Makoto thought he had fucked up everything. He was expecting anything, getting punched, Rei running away from him, screams, but there was nothing, just Rei looking confused at him, and the confusion turned into fear, it was almost like Makoto said he was about to kill him, Rei slowly started to walk away from his friend, without break their eye contact.

   - Rei, I’m sorry, I di-

  Makoto tried to touch Rei’s arm, but he ran away, leaving him behind, he gulped and the pain in his chest grew stronger. Maybe he would have gotten over it if Rei had said ‘no’ or told him that he was disgusting. But being left alone without an answer? And Rei's expression, God, it plagued him.

  He sat down again, gasping for air while his hand clenched on his shirt, as if it would just end his agony.

  - I’m sorry, Rei… I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. - Makoto said under his breath, while tears started to roll down his face.

* * *

 

  Rei couldn’t sleep that night, the words Makoto had said have been playing in his mind non-stop. He was happy, really happy, but the sudden confession made him scared, incapable to give Makoto a proper answer. So he tried to get out of that situation as fast as possible, he wasn’t sure what he could have said or done and only now he realized how much damage his reaction caused to Makoto.

  It was already 05:06am and he was still wide awake.

  He was too scared of falling asleep and dream about Makoto, he was scared that all of this was only a dream and he would wake up again.

  It was 07:18am when he started to call Makoto, he needed to see him and confess to him too.

  One call.

  He didn’t answer. Rei thought it was because he ran away without saying anything, it was obvious that the other would feel hurt because of this, so he tried again, hoping that the other would answer him.

  Three calls.

  Nothing. It was starting to worry him, why didn’t Makoto pick up his cellphone? Maybe Makoto hate him now? What would he do if he didn’t want him anymore?

  Nine calls.

  Rei was about to give up, it couldn’t be true, he finally found out his love was reciprocated and now this? He was even dumber than he had thought. Rei couldn't stop crying while trying to call Makoto again and again, he didn't know how many times he tried to call him, but he was decided to see Makoto and tell him how he really felt, so Rei got up and changed his clothes.

  - I will go to his house. - Rei said to himself while getting out of his house.

  He needed to make sure Makoto was okay, he needed to apologize, he needed to see the other smile like he always did.

  Makoto's house wasn’t too far away from his own home, so he was there in less than twenty minutes. Breathing heavily, after run at full speed for all this time, he knocked on the door, trying to catch his breath fast, hoping that Makoto was there.

  - Hello? - A woman said as she opened the door, smiling exactly like Makoto.

  - Uh… Ah, Miss Tachibana? I’m Makoto’s friend, Rei Ryuugazaki, I would like to talk to him.

  Rei’s heart stopped when the woman said Makoto was already in Tokyo, he left soon after he came back home yesterday.

  - Could you give me his address? - Rei managed to say while trying to hold his tears.

  The woman looked conserned at him, asking if he was ok, of course, Rei dodged the question and thanked her for address.

  Running back home, Rei prepared a small bag, decided to go to Tokyo see Makoto, but it was hard to explain where he was going to his parents, who almost didn't let him get out of the house, but when they saw how nervous Rei was, they let him go, with the condition of him call them as soon he arrive to Tokyo.

  - Soon I will be back. - Was the only thing Rei said before run to the station.

* * *

 

  Travelling to Tokyo took so much time that it drove him insane.

  As soon as the train stopped at the station, he sprinted out of it to get a taxi, it was already 06:23pm, he didn’t want to waste one more second than necessary. For his lucky, it dind't take long to arrive at Makoto’s place, looking at the paper Makoto's mother gave to him, he needed to take some deep breaths before go search for the place the other was.

  When he finally found Makoto's door, Rei started to feel self conscious. What if Makoto didn’t want to see him? What if he was a bother after all?

  Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

  It felt like he had been standing there for hours and when the door finally opened it made his stomach drop.

  - Rei? - Haruka was shocked to see his friend. - What are you doing here? 

  Rei wanted to cry, scream, anything that would make the pain stop. Why was Haruka here? Did they move in together? Was it because he ran away? If he had stayed and confessed, too, would Makoto tell him he was going to live with Haruka in Tokyo? It was so unfair. So incredibly unfair.

  - Rei? Are you ok?

  Rei turned away, without listen what Haruka just said. Why he was running away again? Didn't Makoto confessed to him? So, why he was feeling so much pain?

  - Re-?!” - Makoto wasn’t able to finish his sentence as Rei ran into him and both fell on the ground.

  Their position wasn't one of the most suitables for what just happened. Rei was on top of Makoto, lips brushing lightly against each other, both blushing furiously, they didn’t even dare to move, it was good but at the same time too much, Haruka looking at them confused wasn't helping.

   -Makoto, I like you too, I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you swimming! - Rei was almost screaming, saying everything so fast that Makoto almost couldn't understand his words. - I’m sorry I-I didn’t say anything yesterday, I’m so sorry, I…

  Makoto wiped away the tears that started to flow from Rei's eyes, caressing his face at the same.

  - Rei… - Makoto smiled and pressed his forehead against Rei’s, without breaking eye contact with him. -It’s okay, Rei, everything will be ok now.


End file.
